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Colonel Corn, PETA's 7-foot-tall mascot with a mission, is back from his first tour of duty. No, not in Kandahar, Afghanistan, but someplace just as risky for a corncob with an anti-meat message: the Beef Belt. The Colonel took his war against meat and milk to kids in cowboy country to urge them to fight animal suffering and unhealthy diets with ... their forks. Here's his report from the front.
I got a "chilly" reception in Cedar Rapids, when enemy troops turned up with bowls of beef chili and signs saying, "Honk if you love meat." Them's fightin' words! Better put beans in those bowls, next time, or you could be fighting heart disease, cancer, and obesity down the road.
A sign of things to come? While traveling the Lone Star State, I came under fire ... from an army of fire ants. The ants may have won this round, but there's still plenty of "bite" left in the Colonel.
Remember the Alamo"? I say,"Remember the animals! Go vegetarian!" You'll save more than 2,000 animals during your lifetime! Houston's Water Wall was the perfect place to tell meat-eaters that the amount of water needed to turn steers into steaks could float a destroyer. Meat-based diets gobble up water, energy, and land.
Lights out, troops! We rise at 0600 hours to continue our campaign against animal cruelty.
Kids in Big D (that's Dallas to you civilians) were all "ears" when I briefed them on Operation Corncob. At the Reunion Tower in Dallas, I told families how to make sure they'll still be around for future family get-togethers: Give meat and milk the old heave-ho. Vegans live about 15 years longer than meat-eaters.
After touring America's heartland, Colonel Corn cropped up in the Middle East, to help sow the seeds of peace in the war-torn region. As part of PETA's "Peas Corps" delegation, the Colonel visited children in Jerusalem, handing out free vegetarian sandwiches and leaflets explaining what Gandhi once taught:"Violence begins with the fork."
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