GRRR! advice columnists Noah and Kimi put their heads together to answer your questions about animal issues.

Dear Kimi and Noah,
Mom saw a mouse in our kitchen and freaked. She’s ready to set glue traps. Help!
—Michelle K.

Kimi—Sticky glue traps are one of the cruelest inventions ever! Trapped animals suffer slow deaths from thirst and starvation—many get their mouths stuck in the glue, and others chew off their trapped limbs, trying to escape. I don’t understand why people get worked up over a teeny mouse. Remind Mom that she’s soooo much bigger than the mouse is—to the mouse, she looks like a T-Rex!

Noah—Order a humane “box” trap from PETA—it costs just 10 bucks, and you can re-use it. Call 757-622-7382, extension 1510, to order. You can catch unwanted “guests” and release them outside. Mice consider easy-to-reach food an open invite, so seal your grub. Be sure to plug up any small holes in corners and cabinets with steel wool.

Hi Kimi and Noah!
If the label on a product says it’s not tested on animals, can I believe it?
—Jackie J.

Kimi—Depends. If a company lied about its testing policies, it would get in hot water if consumers found out. However, Clairol Herbal Essence shampoo says “not tested”—and it isn’t—but Clairol does test other products on animals. Best to buy from companies that don’t test any products on animals.

Noah—If there’s any doubt, use PETA’s pocket-sized list of companies that don’t test on animals. It’s free—send a note and a self-addressed stamped envelope to PETA (501 Front St., Norfolk, VA 23510), or check out the info online at PETA-online.org.

Dear Noah and Kimi,
PETA says milk is unhealthy—what’s up with all the milk-mustache ads that say it’s good for you?
—Troy M.

Noah—Way back when, many people thought that the Earth was flat. Now we know that that’s wrong. For decades, dairy farmers have pushed cow’s milk as the “it” drink for strong bones and teeth—but now health experts agree: Milk does a body harm, not good. Calcium from milk is harder to absorb than calcium from green veggies—and even “low-fat” milk’s full of fat!

Kimi—Drinking milk and eating dairy products can give you gas and zits—and make you fat and sick from allergies, heart disease, cancer, and other diseases. Humans are the only ones who drink milk past infancy—and we also steal it from other animals! How bogus is that?! Get your calcium from fortified OJ, almonds, beans, greens, and soy milk—better for you, better for cows and their calves. Find out more at MilkSucks.com.

Photo by Tal Ronnen